literature

Monachopsis (BorisxReader)

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Literature Text

Monachopsis
BorisxReader
Request for Ma-chan17

Monachopsis n. the subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place.

You held your pillow close to your chest, reluctant to get out of bed and face the world around you. You were happy between your sheets, a heavy quilt pulled up over your head and tinting the dim light that made it through a soft lavender. Sighing, you tried to force yourself back to sleep (your dreams had been so nice before you had woken), but there was the constant tug of responsibility that kept you from falling back to sleep.

Your morning routine went by in a haze. Brushing your teeth, splashing water on your face, running your fingers through mussed hair in the hopes that something is better than nothing. You made breakfast of a protein shake as you stumbled out the door and back into the real world of part time jobs and full time classes. Today your morning classes had already finished for the quarter and you were heading out for an extra shift at the on campus coffee shop you worked at in exchange for minimum wage and a free coffee per shift.

It wasn’t that you didn’t like work or school or anything, it was just that none of it felt right for you.

You had told your parents that college wasn’t for you-- that you’d probably do better going to trade school or not going to school at all. You had done average in school, B’s and a few A’s, and tried out a couple of different clubs and sports during your four years. None of them had stuck, unfortunately.

An attempt was made, though.

You had friends and enemies, and you’d had significant others, but no one seemed to be the one. Friends had come and gone, dislike for “enemies” had dwindled and died out, and lovers never stuck around for longer than a few months. It was a pretty average life, and that just didn’t feel right for you.

Work was slow-- it always was on Wednesdays, you could never figure out why-- but, for some reason, you spent the entire shift with your nerves on end. You even forgoed your usual coffee for non-caffeinated tea.

Eventually, your shift ended and you went to class. You had only two more finals to go before you were done for the quarter, and then you were free to sleep as long as possible and maintain the peacefulness of dreams.

One final today, one the next; the two days left of school went by so much quicker than you could have possibly believed. You almost wished that you could go back a retake a few of those finals, but such was life. You spent your first day of break alone in your dorm. Your roommate had finished her finals a day before you, and thus had began the long drive home to her parents’ house up north. You didn’t mind the place to yourself-- you preferred not being woken up by her singing in the shower at 6 in the morning.

At some point, you’d have to get up. You’d have to call your parents and let them know you’d be home in a few days after you finished your last shift at the coffee shop that afternoon. But, for now, you planned to sleep in and pretend you weren’t a real member of this world, but of another.

Your dreams had a tendency to recur. Especially the characters of them.

Specifically, the bright haired young man with cat ears who liked to taunt you in your sleep.

He’d tease you with sweet whispers of a world where you would actually belong. A place where the people would love you and treasure you more than they did in your actual reality. A place where he would love you.

You woke up with tears in your eyes, knowing you could never go there.

Ma-chan17 
I'm not exactly pleased with this, but I felt bad I was taking so long.
Sorry!
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agatstone's avatar
left with with somewhat sad feeling but great anyway